Crazy Family
by DeVionte Harrell

My favorite relative is my cousin Edward.

I always hang out with him. He just turned sixteen but he still acts like a wussy sometimes. Sometimes he'll get mad because something will come up missing. He'll whine and make us get out of his room. That's when I call him a wussy even though he always beats me up.

He likes socking me in my head, too.

He calls himself "Bink". I do NOT know why!

He's my dad's cousin. We've been hanging since we were little.

One time we threw rocks at houses. We called all our friends and met at Edward's house. Then we went next door and got rocks from there. Next, we went on "missions" and threw rocks at cars. We'd all go together in one big group like seven or eight of us. One time it was like ten or eleven! We'd throw rocks at cars and houses, too. Sometimes we broke windows!

We played "Ding Dong Ditch", too. That's when you knock on someone's door and you run. You go,

Dinnng Donnnng

And you DITCH it!

My little cousin drives me crazy. His name is Alphonso. He's thirteen. He just does stupid things. And then when you hit him, he starts crying. When he cries he sounds like this:


And we call him "Pissy" or "Stanker". He's thirteen and he still pees in the bed. We've been calling him “Stanker” since he was a baby. I don't think he likes it. He REALLY doesn’t like it when we call him "Piss Pot".

Last time we hung out we played football, basketball, all kinds of games. This was at his house in Apple Valley.

My favorite Grandma that lives out there. She's my Great-Grandma.

She always gives us stuff. She's the best grandma you could have.

She takes good care of us. She loves us and I have my own room when I come over. There are five bedrooms. Even when I don't want money, she gives it to me. Every time I leave, she gives me money.

When I get to her house I say, "Hi Gram." She says, "Hey Dave," or, "Puffy". She calls me "Dave" for DeVionte or "Day Day". She calls me Puffy because of my eyes.

Then I got my Uncle Toran. He's 21 but still acts like a little kid. He plays games, basketball, football, and he wrestles. Toran has a girlfriend. They're about the same height. She got body! She ain't really "to' back" but I call her "to' back" at times.

We all like hanging out with girls. We'll meet them at the mall or they'll come to Grandma's house to watch movies. Last time we sat in the house and watched "Resident Evil: Apocalypse". We just sit anywhere. Sometimes the girls will get scared. The boys, too! That's when you get a chance to…

I have an auntie named Karen. She's fun! And she's crazy! We call her "Killer Kay". She'll clown us because we clown Piss Pot, her son Alphonso.

She lives right around the corner from Gram. And she's Alphonso's mom.

My regular Grandma is named Janet. And that's Toran's mom. She's crazy too! She gets drunk and will laugh a lot. She doesn't drink beer. She drinks Hennessey or vodka or E&J. She doesn't stumble around like a drunk.

 Then, I have Auntie Audrey. She's crazy, too! All of 'em are sisters. That's why they're all crazy. And she's real strict.

One time me, Edward and all the rest of my cousins were hanging out. It was Christmas. Auntie Audrey had just got there. We did something (I don't remember what) and Auntie Audrey got mad! She said she'd wring our necks! And she got on my cousin Toran. She started cussing us out and me and Edward started laughing at us. She called us "little bitches". She said, "Look, bitches!"

And I said, "Bitches, too???"

Then there's Auntie Diane! That's the other sister. She crazy. She likes to get drunk, too. She's nice. She's a good auntie.

Then there's my grandma's daughter Janet's daughter Shana. She's funny. Greedy! And fun. And she got a son named "Alphion". And he's my other favorite cousin even though he's only five because he's funny and crazy.



Our whole family is crazy but I love 'em. And they love me.